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Meditation Poker and Fitness
These insecurities start burying deep inside me. I've been trying so hard, but it's probably still so minor compared to everyone else. I'm probably an average player still, thats okay. I know that I recently barely started studying this game, so I deserved not to "get it" maybe I am figuring it out, just that I was so far behind that it will take much longer then anticipated. Here we go again... back to the grind I will try again, even harder. More time to figure shit out and get my act together. After I rebuild a bit, and work till I feel confident enough I will go back and start battling everyone again... I will be one of the greatest players.... believe it. Will never give up until I accomplish my mission cause one thing I know is that I ain't a quitter.
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Well.. I did 52k hands this month, which is probably decent. I took some time off maybe 5 or 6 days, I also studied for 1.5 weeks straight almost everyday trying to figure things out, and lots of things "clicked" so it was actually a huuuge progression month for my game. I had close to 0 game selection for about 9/10th of the month, then I went out, battled and got slaughtered for 25k. For results, I ended up 19k(incl rakeback), my bb winrate sucks 3.5 bb or something... I'm here to play, come find me in the streets I'll be here waiting. I find it hard to believe that I won't be one of the best players... That certainly is not in my realm of understanding, I don't have much of a life outside of poker. How can you beat someone that doesn't have a life?!
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Good:
-Had a lot of fun with some of my friends that I have met, whom I will meet again in Paris!

-Did a review and ended up battling someone who I originally had some trouble with, whom I presume (when it's closer in skill level you can never say for sure!) I'm better then at this current moment only when we do a proper battle is when we will figure out.

-Studied a few hours to improve on a couple of important key spots that I feel I was missing in my game.

Bad:
-Eh volume, had 10k hands most of it being from the last two days.

-Had alcohol almost everyday which fucks up my next day normally as I either don't play, or play much less hours because of the recovery effect.


This coming week should be better, I have less obligations and less people I'm meeting with so it should be an interesting week, also I have a feeling my game is much stronger then it was two weeks ago, which is great for my future EVBB winrate. Next week my game will reach new heights again, there are a couple of new things that I have been thinking about that I will find the solution to this week. Anyway, I'm here to play, buckle down boys, let some blood shed in the streets.
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Week over already...

Man that went by really fast it was a pretty nice week at the tables and off..

I ended up playing 16,000 hands, bb winrate looking good, but it could have been better (the volume I mean), well I guess I adjusted and adapted to the situation that made me slow down a bit in how much I played basically...

-I challenged someone relatively elite, I'm actually not sure if he will read this thread now as we are in touch, but whatever. He beat me pretty bad that day, not for many buy ins but enough to make me think what happened and why did I get outclassed so hard throughout the match. He fucked me up really bad mentally that night, I couldn't go to sleep so I spent all night (or afternoon?), whatever basically I stayed up until 2pm because I couldn't sleep and felt so concerned as to why he was so much better) to focus on my game to try to take it to the next level, turns out I did a lot of stuff fundamentally wrong, and that's okay I took note of it and will be much more prepared next time.

Anyway, because of that it was super beneficial and I found out a couple of things that I was missing in my game and began implementing it immediately, there are still so many little things that I am not seeing with my own eyes that there are that are the clear most +EV line, probably countless hours that must be spent theorizing on, practicing on and implementing.

I have a few people on the list I'm looking to beat at the moment and they are currently some of the best players out atm and have asked them for a battle sometime this month, so I'm looking forward to that, with that being said... I am looking for matches against anyone, I will play 3-4 tables of 3/6 (won't do higher, don't want to lose too much money!).
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Month is going pretty nicely.. probably up 28k or something after rakeback. Still not very happy with some of my plays, think I'm doing a lot of stuff wrong still with certainty, I wrote down a few notes to think about in order to improve for next time a lot of it is even against fishes, I think I'm leaking in a few spots against them in general as well I would like to perfect playing them to most maximum exploitation. Only going to show the better graph, I have multiple graphs b/c of different affiliates. Unfortunately I won't be able to play much more this month... last update until maybe the end of the month or something.

[Image: iU4ungy.png?1]
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Losing a lot of money.

Sometimes its not so fun, but it is a necessary process. In some ways I like it because it exposes more leaks that I can hone in on and fix in order to become a better poker player. I did not play perfect yesterday, so every time I mess up I note it, when did I mess up, did it happen before the session, did I not prepare well enough? Did it happen mid session? What broke me in order to play not so prefect? I'm grateful for every single process in this game, with the information I have what I currently know in my life I will utilize these tools to reach the top. I'm a MSNL player, and that's for a reason, because I am messing up more then others, including mentally I may not be as strong as others which is one of the many reasons why I can't become elite yet. It's ok, my time will come. I'm going to work even harder because I fucking love this shit and I'm a man on a mission.
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Took yesterday off to work on a couple of other things related to poker.
I was not so happy with my mental game, and started digging into why. I was scavenging around and looking at what people think about it, and I think just what Mason says in his book makes a lot of sense. That once you just refine and fix all your strategy this idea of tilting at all 7 levels or whatever is complete nonsense. His point of view is something like... if you messed up in a spot where you consciously know the effort its more like you aren't totally sure of the spot and need to put in more time into working on that area.

Anyway, thought that was fairly interesting, I've also started finally dabbling in some huplo at the same time. I'm getting use to the transition and the different skill sets it takes, should be ready for it completely by a few more weeks. Will excitedly be looking to battle anyone there very soon too...
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